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What if there were a single skill that could directly and radically improve your relationships and your emotional life? Empathy, teaches Karla McLaren, is that skill.
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I look down quickly and pretend not to be watching them. This is the end of a long day for them, and they need a sense of their own private time. Joseph reaches a natural pause in his story, and Iris leans toward him happily and adds her own piece about some biblical character. Will Joseph correct Iris in a paternal, shaming way and shut her down?

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Will he argue with her and create conflict between them? Or will he shun and disengage from her and hurt her feelings? This could go sideways very quickly! I scan the room: Will I need to create a pretense to get up and move into their relational space—maybe to get a drink of water—if one or both of them gets stuck and needs some social support or a way to disengage? At the end of her comment, Iris waits so do I! She looks down and flushes with shame almost imperceptibly, and then she covers her embarrassment by leaning toward Joseph wordlessly, smiling in a broad but faintly apologetic way, and slightly lowering her entire body below his in a shame-submissive, sadness-and fear-moderated shrugging gesture.

Joseph immediately leans in toward her, moving his head downward and joining her in the submissive space she has created, and with his head, he makes a kind of scooping upward gesture as he engages, Yes!

Iris rises with him out of the submissive space—almost as if Joseph were pulling her upward with the movement of his head—and they are equals again, happy together, swaying together as the story continues. Nice social repair, Joseph and Iris! My apprehension subsides, and I begin to breathe again as I look away, relaxed and a bit dreamy. Tino walks into the lobby from the locker room and sees Joseph and Iris talking. Although he feels appropriate shame as he looks down and attempts to walk gently past them to give them their privacy, Joseph stops his story and greets Tino jovially.

As Tino passes them, Joseph and Iris look at each other and nod silently in unison to end their interaction and get back to work. Nothing indeed. The interaction I watched between Joseph and Iris took fewer than two minutes. However, as I mentioned earlier, I had to rein myself in as I wrote about it for you, because it was filled with enough social, emotional, interactional, cultural, gestural, and subtextual information to fill this book. Actors, musicians, dancers, choreographers, composers, animal trainers, performance artists, and martial artists are some of the specialists who have knowledge of this interactional space.

So do novelists, poets, creative writers, and playwrights. Social scientists and behaviorists study this space intensively, and psychologists and counselors work to help us understand and become skillful in regard to it. This book adds another category to this list of interaction specialists: empaths. The Art of Empathy will not magically turn you into an empath—you were born with these skills, and you use them every day.

What this book will do is help you become a healthy, effective, and intentional empath so that you can understand emotions, use your empathy comfortably, and pilot successfully through the richness of interactional space. You already use your nonverbal empathic skills every day—when you socialize, read body language, work with animals and infants, listen to music, laugh at physical comedy, and appreciate art and drama. Empathic skills make you verbally and nonverbally sensitive to and aware of yourself, others, and the social world.

For many years, I mistakenly thought that my intense hyperempathic abilities meant that I was a psychic I realized my mistake and ended my entire psychic healing career in A quick example: I was an intensely active and fidgety child, and I had trouble with language a stutter and other verbal-processing issues. I had wildly sensitive hearing and vision, recurrent nightmares, and great difficulties regulating my emotions. When I was four, my mother took me to a neurologist to see if he could help me.

The 6 Aspects of Empathy!

When he first met us, this doctor came into the consulting room in his nice white lab coat and smiled warmly as he sat down. I studied him for a few seconds and said, Why are you so grouchy? He laughed and sent me to play in the waiting room while he talked to my mom. Mom told me that he sort of patted her on the head in commiseration and explained that I had no filters, that I was unusually sensitive to every possible form of input—visual, auditory, tactile he knew this from preliminary testing by my pediatrician , and emotional—and that she was going to have to protect me from the world until I learned how to manage all of my intense sensitivities.

He made this diagnosis in a few seconds, empathic man that he was, because I had read through his smile and his calm demeanor and picked up on the emotional residues of a fight that he had had with his wife on the phone earlier that morning. I marvel at how lucky I was to be seen by this doctor. Another doctor might have been offended by such an impertinent child; another doctor might have lied or not even remembered the fight. But this doctor validated my strong empathic capacity and set my mom and me onto a path of trying to create a healthy, nurturing environment for an intensely sensitive person.

This book is filled with information on how you can create a similar healthy environment for yourself and your loved ones. With strong empathic skills, you can get to know people very deeply in a seemingly magical period of time, and it can seem as if you have access to some sort of paranormal skill. After a sea change in my understanding of what it means to be an empath, as well as a return to college to study the social sciences, I now know that empathic abilities are not in any way paranormal.

Although the world that empathy reveals is a hidden world of undercurrent, subtext, and nonverbal cues, it is not a mystical world; rather, it is the social interactional world—and it is a world that we can all learn to understand more clearly.

[P.D.F]-THE-ART-OF-EMPATHY:-A-COMPLETE-GUIDE-TO-LIFE'S-MOST-ESSENTIAL-SKILL by Natharylor - Issuu

A vital part of that understanding comes from learning how to work with not against emotions. Of all the things we pick up from others empathically, emotions can be the most problematic.

For me, learning how to maintain my empathy in the face of any and all emotions has been a real game changer, and it has made being an empath infinitely easier. Empathy is a fundamentally emotional skill, and understanding emotions empathically—as vital parts of cognition—is a key to understanding the often-obscured processes that make empathy work. Empathy helps you comprehend, connect to, and care about others; it helps you create healthy relationships, healthy communities, and a healthy society. What if there were a single skill that could directly and radically improve your relationships and your emotional life?

Empathy, teaches Karla McLaren, is that skill. With The Art of Empathy, she teaches us how to perceive and feel the experiences of others with clarity and authenticity--to connect with them more deeply and effectively. Informed by current insights from neuroscience, social psychology, and healing traditions, this book explores: Why empathy is not a mystical phenomenon but a natural, innate ability that we can strengthen and developHow to identify and regulate our emotions and boundariesThe process of shifting into the perspective of othersHow to provide support in a sensitive and healthy wayInsights for navigating our hyper-connected social landscapeTargeted chapters for improving family, workplace, and intimate relationshipsWays to expand our empathy to our community, global levels of society, and the natural worldEmpathy, reflects Karla McLaren, is the skill that builds bridges-- a skill that not only creates connection, but that helps us to be more effective in all areas of our lives.

Through our empathetic skills, we can get into synch with Enlarge cover.

The Art of Empathy: A Complete Guide to Life's Most Essential Skill, Paperback

Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem? Details if other :. Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. What if there were a single skill that could directly and radically improve your relationships and your emotional life? Empathy, teaches Karla McLaren, is that skill.

With The Art of Empathy , she teaches us how to perceive and feel the experiences of others with clarity and authenticity—to connect with them more deeply and effectively. Informed by current insights from neur What if there were a single skill that could directly and radically improve your relationships and your emotional life? Get A Copy.

Art of Empathy : A Complete Guide to Life's Most Essential Skill

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To ask other readers questions about The Art of Empathy , please sign up. Lists with This Book. This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Community Reviews. Showing Rating details. More filters. Sort order. Oct 12, Laurie rated it liked it. I have read all of Karla's books, but I was a bit disappointed with this one because I thought there was a lot of overlap with her book "The Language of Emotions" and not enough new information. The only new information I liked was resourcing. That alone was not worth the price of the book. My two favorite books of hers are "Emotional Geniu"s and "Rebuilding the Garden".

If you want to have access to some of her wonderful processes to help you deal with difficult situations and understand your emo I have read all of Karla's books, but I was a bit disappointed with this one because I thought there was a lot of overlap with her book "The Language of Emotions" and not enough new information. If you want to have access to some of her wonderful processes to help you deal with difficult situations and understand your emotions, check out her webpage at www.


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Nov 01, Cody Moore rated it really liked it.